Recently, Anne Dingus collected a list of “colorful Texas sayings than you can shake a stick at” that was published by Texas Monthly.

Here are my top ten favorites from the roll:

Acceptable: “You can’t beat that with a stick.”

Boastful: “He can strut sitting down.”

Dishonest: “So crooked that if he swallowed a nail he’d spit up a corkscrew.”

Honest: “He’s so honest you could shoot craps with him over the phone.”

Argumentative: “She’s in a horn-tossing mood.”

Timid: “He wouldn’t bite a biscuit.”

Dry: “Drier than a popcorn fart.”

Busy: “He’s so busy you’d think he was twins.”

Unsophisticated: “He’s so country he thinks that a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack.”

Capable: “She’s got some snap in her garters.”

General Advice: “A worm is the only animal that can’t fall down.”

General Advice: “The barn door’s open and the mule’s trying to run.” – Your fly’s down – You’re unzipped

Celebratory: We’ll paint the town and the front porch.”

Big: “She’s warm in winter, shady in summer.”

Tight: “He’ll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.”

Crazy: “He’s got a big hole in his screen door.”

Poor: “So poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.”

Hot: “Hotter than whoopee in woolens.”

Bad: “He’s so low you couldn’t put a rug under him.”

Strong: “That coffee’s so strong it’ll walk into your cup.”

Sick: “All stove up.”

Talkative: “She speaks ten words a second, with gusts to fifty.”

Putdowns: “Anytime you happen to pass my house, I’d sure appreciate it.”

Difficult: “Like putting socks on a rooster.”

Dumb: “He don’t know diddly squat.”

Unacceptable: “That dog won’t hunt.”

Citified: “Raised on concrete.”

Good/Happy: “Fine as frog fur.”

There are plenty more where these came from. See “Your Guide to Being Texan” from

Texas Monthly.

Here are some other Texas lingo links: